Confidence Call

The key to being confident is to really embrace your true self, be yourself, be authentically you.

We are all unique and sometimes this gets lost or forgotten about when we try to imitate what we see on social media and ‘reality’ TV. Not meeting these images can have a negative effect on your confidence.

It all starts with you, the people you surround yourself with and the messages you are telling yourself. That internal dialogue is so important.

Growing up I had a few issues with my self-image following on from a traumatic experience. I developed Anorexia. This led me to lose a lot of weight rapidly. I thought I was perfectly normal. I thrived on eating as little as possible and exercising excessively. These quickly became my daily best friends. It actually wasn’t about the way I looked at all it was a way of controlling a part of my life, while everything around me seemed so unstable. It exposed many insecurities about my self-image and led to me analyze every detail of the way I looked. If I have a flat stomach then everything will be ok, crazy thoughts would literally torture my inner dialogue daily. Looking back I think those tender teenage years are so vulnerable. The internal pressure that I put on myself, I questioned everything - Would I be good enough to go to University? What do I want to do? What are my friends going to do? Do I fit in? Basically a mountain of insecurities that I never told anyone about. On the outside, I was actually a quietly confident person, shy to begin with but I always wanted to contribute and share my opinion. I had a curious mind wanting to absorb knowledge and I found meeting people very intriguing.

I eventually went to my GP for help. The help & support I received was amazing. My family and friends were all so relieved. The healing process wasn’t easy, its not a magic formula that instantly makes everything ok. I had to put the work in and the most important thing is that I understood that sometimes its OK not to be OK. Being patient, kind, and compassionate to myself is something I really live by and I encourage my friends and family to treat themselves in this way too.

As I got stronger I started to focus on my capabilities and what I wanted to do with my life. My creative floodgates opened and I have never looked back. Everything I’ve put my mind to I have achieved - yeah I’ve made mistakes along the way, but confidence is believing in myself and trying again. We are all born with greatness & unique gifts, we just need to have the confidence to share them with passion and be ourselves.

Perfection is never going to be achieved. People who strive for this lose the fun and the whole concept is a total distortion of reality. Reaching for perfection is exhausting and it is totally self-inflicted. Giving yourself permission to relax and go with the flow will unlock your true potential. Being authentic is being who you truly are.

My top confidence boosters:

1. Write down 10 amazing qualities about yourself and keep them somewhere you can read and remind yourself of them. Even better do this with a friend where you both write down 10 qualities about each other and share them.

2. Be your own best friend and treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would do your best friend. Know your worth.

3. Positive vibes only! - If a negative thought enters your mind then replace it with 2 positive thoughts.

4. Be yourself, be authentic, and don’t be afraid to experiment and create your own style.

5. Visualise yourself achieving a goal, what does it feel like, how will your life change. Write it down with a date when you want this to happen. Then work backwards from there taking steps to make this happen.

6. Learn new skills from experts. This will positively reinforce yourself with the capabilities to achieve that goal or next level in your life.

7. Failure is NOT a negative thing - read that again!! It’s actually a blessing in disguise. A failure can be dissected, take away everything you learned, and try again. I believe we learn far more from our mistakes than we do from our triumphs.

8. You have got this! - being confident doesn’t mean walking around saying how fabulous you are all day long - its an inner trust in your abilities an inner knowing that you will be ok.

9. Confidence takes all shapes and sizes. I am a quietly confident person, I do my work behind the scenes, quietly under the radar only surfacing when I’m ready - Boom!! The true key is to be you and find what fits you.

10. We don’t need to be an expert. It’s ok to learn as you go, wing it for a bit until you find your groove. I learn new things every day. This is what life is all about, growing and enjoying the journey.

11. Posture - walk the walk is definitely a way to bring your inner cheerleader to the game. Stand tall, shoulders back, and look people in the eye. If you walk into a room all slouched and looking at the floor I’m afraid it’s game over. Your posture is a reflection of how you are feeling so do it with style and finesse.

12. Do one thing just for you every day - Yes every day, you are worth it and you need to invest in YOU.

13. Daily Affirmations - So an affirmation is a positive message you repeat to yourself. It could be ‘today I will have an abundance of energy’ or ‘I am fearless’ I love to do this each day when I am doing my morning yoga. I repeat them over and over when I am taking an outward breathe. It sets your mind to a positive place of self-belief.

14. Do something out of your comfort zone. The level of excitement you get when you achieve a goal like this is so empowering.

15. Power - never give anyone your power. You are unique and you are strong and the only way you let someone overpower you is if you allow them to. Their opinion only matters to you if you value it. Imagine you are carrying a key in your pocket and this is your power. Always keep this safe in your pocket.

I want women to show up in the world and feel confident, empowered, and strong. Start that business, design that app, build that empire, and dream big!

Ladies, This is your Confidence Call.

So guys I will be back next week with more RubyLoves advice and fabulousness!!

Don't forget to subscribe down below to join the RubyLoves Community.

Lots of Love

Lynette

RubyLoves xxx

What I would tell my younger self

SPF

Definitely the importance of SPF. I’ve always looked after my skin. I have had a strong skincare routine since my early twenties. These days skincare has gotten so sophisticated - Cleanse, no wait, double cleanse, exfoliate, serum, moisture mask, eye cream, day cream night cream and relax - simple!! The list could go on and on really as new skin science advancements come thick and fast. My motto when I was younger was to spend on my skincare as that is my biggest investment rather than on clothes or my hair and I definitely stick by this today. There is a but, a big but. I never really considered the damage the sun was doing to my skin. Honestly, how many of you can say that you protect your skin from the sun and the long term damage the sun can cause? Well up until a few years ago, neither did I. In fact when I was a kid we never really even used sunscreen. I can remember my first girls holiday to Tenerife when I was 18, (I know I look about 10 in this picture ha!) wearing the lowest factor possible to make sure I got the best tan. I came back after 2 weeks a teabag orange colour that peeled off after a week, oh god it feels like yesterday!

PIGMENTATION

Anyway, I’ve developed strong pigmentation marks from my pregnancies and to me, they look like dirty brown marks on my cheeks. They fade in the winter and get worse in the summer if I don’t protect my skin or stay in the shade.

I realised that I needed to wear a daily SPF especially in summer but don’t be fooled that you cant get sun damage in the winter too. Basically any exposure can damage your delicate skin but not only that it is responsible for 80% of skin aging. For me, my pigmentation is a marker of how damaging the sun is to skin. I probably wouldn’t be as focused on SPF if it wasn’t for my own experience with sun damage.

DAILY SPF

I would say to definitely look at your skincare and check if it has any SPF benefits and I would also recommend a stand-alone SPF to really boost your protection. This task is easier said than done as many brands I have tried leave the skin really pale and white or they seem to actually peel off my skin if I try to put makeup over the top or they are too

greasy. All of which are unacceptable and would put anyone off using them at all. Don’t worry though! I have put together my top 5 SPF guide so you can trust that you are protecting your skin without getting hot under the collar.

MY TOP 5 SPF GUIDE

ULTRASUN Sun Protection Anti-Pigmentation Tinted Face SPF 50+ - This is an award winner. Simply apply to dry, clean skin 15 minutes before applying any other products and then you are protected all day long.

HELIOCARE Sun Touch Hydrogel SPF 50 Broad Spectrum - This brand offers sophisticated skin protection for everyday use. Every product in the range is packed with antioxidants and DNA repairing enzymes.

SUPERGOOP Unseen Sunscreen SPF 30 - which is like its name says, its an invisible SPF and sits underneath makeup effortlessly. This is intended for everyday use, for stronger exposure to the sun then up the SPF protection to SPF 50+.

TROPIC SKINCARE Sun Day Facial UV Defence SPF 50 - Silky & lightweight daily sunscreen sits underneath makeup and doubles up as a hydrating primer too.

ALPHA H Daily Essential Moisturiser SPF 50 - Gives strong protection with a veil of moisture without the telltale white mask effect that slides off the face.

This collection will all give amazing coverage without the white thick suncream finish. Basically the low down on SPF products is to use a Broad Spectrum SPF of at least factor 30 and this will ensure you have protection against both:-

UVA - These are ultraviolet sun rays that penetrate deep into the skin and cause aging of the dermis. They are very powerful and can penetrate through clouds and windows. Basically if the sun is up then you can be exposed to UVA rays.

UVB - These are ultraviolet sun rays that burn the skin and can cause skin cancers.

This is the advice I wish I could give my younger self so do yourself the biggest favour today and slip an SPF into your daily skincare routine.

Dont forget to subscribe down below to be part of the RubyLoves Community

Lots of Love

Lynette

RubyLoves xxx

To Contour or Not to Contour

As a Makeup Artist, I get to meet so many people with their own personal preferences about makeup. I often get asked to do really natural-looking makeup with clients being put off by the word ‘contour’. This I would say is largely due to the wave of videos on social media that show extreme contouring techniques. Today we are undoubtedly living through a time where we have to be camera-ready at any moment. Instagram data reports that over 280 million selfie uploads have been posted in the last year alone.

History of contour

Contouring is certainly not a new thing, its been around for centuries. Used in theatres to accentuate the performer’s faces on stage. Of course, the application wasn’t as sophisticated as it is today with chalk and soot being applied for dramatic effect. Fast forward a few hundred years to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood where contouring was sculpting the faces of actresses such as Marilyn Monroe & Audrey Hepburn, making them the envy of the movies. Over the last decade, contouring has had a complete transformation with cosmetic companies reporting bronzer sales doubling and products being marketed specifically for creating the contour of your social media dreams.

What is Contouring

Contouring is a makeup technique that uses light and dark powders or liquids to define, enhance, and sculpt the structure of the face. For contouring to work it uses the symmetry of the features of the face and aligns them by shading and lightening them. It not only enhances your definition but it can also create a definition where there isn’t any. A great example of this is to contour the jawline to make it more sculpted. Give the nose a more slender appearance or stronger presence. Contouring can truly enhance the whole look of the face and where the light and shade is carefully sketched.

How to Contour

It takes practice to perfect this but my technique for contouring is much more subtle. I basically use a contour powder that is 1 to 2 shades darker than the foundation. I would ensure that the foundation was set with a setting powder before applying the contour powder. To contour the cheeks I apply from the tip of the ear at the top of the cheekbone and in a diagonal halfway across the cheekbone. ‘Follow the hollow’ by sucking in your cheeks and yes you got it ‘follow the hollow’ Ha! Blend by buffing in circular motions. My key point with getting a flawless finish is to use less than you think and build up the definition gently. Blend a small amount at the temples and across the forehead just below the hairline. I then add a little to the jawline to slightly define. To finish I use a slim brush to define either side of the nose and blend for a soft finish. I then use either a lightening powder or a highlighting powder on the high points of the face, down the centre of the nose, on the high points of the cheeks, the chin and underneath and over the brow bone. Again, every product is applied subtly and blended as we want to create an almost airbrush like finish. These contouring techniques gently enhance the structure & definition to the face.

My top Contour products

TARTE is one of my favourite makeup brands that never fails me. The Park Avenue Princess palette is fabulous with 4 dark shades and 2 light shades. Two of the darker shades in this palette have a slight iridescence to them and are lovely for an evening look or on holiday.

ABH or Anastasia Beverley Hills is renowned for their contour palettes. All of the range is highly pigmented and gives a super professional finish with strong staying power.

IT COSMETICS is becoming one of my favourite brands right now! They are all about creating products that are good for the skin, give amazing results, and are kind to animals too. The ‘You sculpted universal contour palette’ gives a step by step guide on how and where to use each product with dramatic transformational results.

BOBBI BROWN - If I have a client that wants to really have a full-on contour look then I will switch to a liquid formula. The Bobbi Brown foundation sticks are amazing to use and then blend along with the lighter foundation. I have a few darker shades in my kit one of my most loved shades for this is Warm Almond.

Application

My favourite brushes to contour are from TARTE and REAL TECHNIQUES they are super soft and allow me to blend gently with precision.

Give these techniques a try and have some fun creating your looks. I would love to see pictures if any of you would like to give it a try.

If you need any help with your foundation then check out last weeks blog on how to ‘Ace your Base’.

So there you have it, your contouring myths lifted. If you would like to book a personal online makeover course then click the link below to find out how to learn the professional tips & tricks to get The RubyLoves Effect.

https://www.rubylovesmakeup.com/bookings-checkout/makeover-me

Dont forget to subscribe below to the RubyLoves community

Lots of Love

Lynette

RubyLoves xxx